Attachment Disorders: Insecure Attachment and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

Insecure attachment and attachment disorders

If secure attachment doesn’t occur with sufficient regularity in infancy and early childhood, (about one third of the time) a child won’t have the experiences they need to grow up feeling confidence in themselves and trust in others. Instead, insecure attachments will form that may lead to attachment disorders. These disorders may be reflected in learning problems, social problems, mental problems and failed personal and interpersonal relationships.

The purpose of labeling a parent child relationship “insecure” is not to blame parents who love and intend the best for their children, but may be products themselves of insecure attachment, trauma or depression. Separation can also be a factor that contributes to insecure attachment. Insecure attachment and the developmental disruptions they can cause are often passed from one generation to the next unless steps are taken to repair what has been damaged.

Avoidant attachment

When a parent is emotionally unavailable or rejecting, a child may become “avoidantly” attached, meaning that the child adapts by avoiding closeness and emotional connection. This child may appear to be very independent but their self reliance is a cover for insecurity.

Ambivalent attachment

An “ambivalently” attached child experiences the parents’ communication as inconsistent and at times intrusive. Because the child can’t depend on the parent for attunement and connection, he develops a sense of anxiety and feelings of insecurity.

Disorganized attachment

When the child’s’ need for emotional closeness remains unseen or ignored, and the parents behavior is a source of disorientation or terror. When children have experiences with parents that leave them overwhelmed, traumatized, and frightened, they become disorganized and chaotic.

Causes of Attachment Disorders

Socio-economic status has nothing to do with the ability to establish successful attachment relationships. Children who have had a succession of nannies, or orphaned children who spend their early years in orphanages or move from foster home to foster home, are at risk for severe attachment disruption. It also can occur as a result of severe illness in the parent or the child, parental unavailability, or emotional trauma. Some children have inborn disabilities or temperaments that make it difficult for them to form a secure attachment, no matter how hard the parent tries. In any case, there generally are several factors involved. The major causes of attachment disorders are:

neglect, including emotional neglect
abuse, physical or sexual
separation from primary caregiver
changes in primary caregiver
traumatic experiences such as death of parent or disaster
maternal depression
maternal use of drugs or alcohol
undiagnosed, isolating painful illness such as colic or ear infections

Signs and symptoms of attachment disorders

Insecure attachments influence the developing brain, which in turn affects future interactions with others, self-esteem, self-control, and the ability to learn and to achieve optimum mental and physical health. Because attachment affects all aspects of development, symptoms of insecure attachment may mirror – and be partly responsible for – common developmental problems including ADHD and spectrum autism.

Symptoms of insecure attachment
Emotional Problems	low self-esteem; needy, clingy or pseudo-independent behavior; inability to deal with stress and adversity; depression; apathy
Physical problems	susceptibility to chronic illness; obsession with food - hordes, gorges, refuses to eat, eats strange things, hides food
Social Problems	lack of self-control; inability to develop and maintain friendships; alienation from parents, caregivers, and other authority figures; aggression and violence; difficulty with genuine trust, intimacy, and affection; lack of empathy, compassion and remorse; negative, hopeless, pessimistic view of self, family and society
Learning problems	behavioral problems at school; speech and language problems; incessant chatter and questions; difficulty learning

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a clinically recognized form of severe insecure attachment. Children with RAD are so neurologically disrupted that they cannot attach to a primary caregiver or go through the normal developmental processes. These children cannot establish positive relationships with other people. Many of these children may have been incorrectly diagnosed as having severe emotional and behavioral disturbances ranging from bipolar disorder to depression. In response to these diagnoses, they may have received various combinations of unnecessary psychotropic mediation.

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) can be especially challenging for parents, because children with RAD may have no interest in pleasing their parents – they do not reward parents with the cues of pleasure, appreciation and affection that motivate parental investment in children. In fact, a complete stranger may elicit the exact same response from a child with RAD as does a loving and protecting parent.

Families who have children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) will benefit from treatment and therapeutic parenting. In time and with patience, even severe attachment disorders can be repaired.

Repairing attachment disorders

How is inadequate attachment repaired? Recent studies show that it’s never too late to create positive change in a child’s life, or in an adult’s, for that matter. The learning that accompanies new experiences can alter neural connections in the brain. Relationships with relatives, teachers and childcare providers can supply an important source of connection and strength for the child’s developing mind. In attempts to repair attachment, here are some things to consider:

Attachment is an interactive process.

It is an evolutionary fact that our brains are structured to connect to one another. The attachment process alters the brains of both parent and child. But what makes attachment so unique is that the stronger, older, more experienced parent attunes and follows the lead of the younger, less experienced, more vulnerable child. However, following an infant’s lead does not mean that that the infant makes all the decisions. It does mean that the caretaker follows and responds to the infant’s emotional needs and defers to the infants emotional needs when appropriate.

Attachment is a nonverbal process.

Attachment takes place many months and even years before speech and thought develop. Communication is accomplished through wordless means that rely on several things to convey interest, understanding and caring:

Visual – eye contact; facial expression; posture ; gesture body movement
Auditory – tone of voice; speech rhythm and rate; timing, intensity and voice modulation

Children vary in what they find soothing

There is no “one size fits all” for every child. In determining what constitutes “just right” communication for a particular child, it will be up to the adult to follow the nonverbal cues of that child. What soothes a parent may not soothe an infant. Thus, parents may have to explore the best techniques for soothing their child and themselves in order to make connection with the child.

Attachment can’t begin until both parties feel safe in their bodies and safe with one another.

Attachment is akin to falling in love, but unless both adult and child feel completely safe, it will not be successful. When adults are anxious, mad, tuned out or overwhelmed, they will not be able to make an attuned connection with a child. If a child is overwhelmed or inconsolable, he may not be available for an attuned emotional connection. Sensory activities such as rocking, singing, moving, touching, and feeding can sooth children, but remember that youngsters vary in their sensory preferences.

Shared emotional experiences should be truly shared.

The key to shared emotional experience with your child is to feel the experience to some degree in your own body. This process of shared experience helps both infants and children regulate their feeling states. It is usually more important to share a negative state with a child than to problem solve. Sharing enables children to learn to problem solve for themselves.

Positive emotional experiences are as important to share as negative

The shared positive emotional experiences of joy are as important to the attachment bond as the shared negative emotional experiences of fear, sadness, anger and shame.

Some parents are very good at detecting a child’s distress and responding appropriately to it. Other parents share joyous moments but leave or space out in times of trouble and unhappiness. A strong attachment bond includes the full range of shared emotional experience—including joy.

Conflict and repair is a crucial part of secure attachment.

No matter how much we love our children, there comes a point where we are not in agreement with them, a point when we have to set limits, and say “no.” This conflict temporally ruptures the relationship as the child angrily protests. Such protest is to be expected. The key to strengthening the attachment bond of trust is to be available the minute the child is ready to reconnect. It is also important to initiate repair when we have done something to hurt, disrespect, or shame a child. Parents aren’t perfect. From time to time, we are the cause of the disconnection. Again, our willingness to initiate repair can strengthen the attachment bond.

To learn about the repair of adult relationships based on a model of secure attachment, see Helpguide’s Relationship Help series, which describes and details the skills needed to create secure attachments.

Topics

Rate This Article:

Attachment Disorders

INSECURE ATTACHMENT AND REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER (RAD)

In This Article: